July 6, 2013 - ,    2 Comments   |   749 Views

I Was An Addict…

ad·dict

1: to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively
(from merriam-webster.com)

As a young girl I found comfort in food. As a teenager I found alcohol and later men. I found myself in a place that I couldn’t live without them. One night, as I sat in my apartment over 15 years ago, I stared at a bottle of vodka and remember telling God, “I don’t want to do this anymore, please help me.”

You see, I grew up in and out of church. I knew God but never knew he could be with me through excepting Jesus and feeling him near through His Holy Spirit. I’d been rebellious and defiant and though I was depressed I didn’t seek solace in Him but in other things.

I drank one more time after that night because I thought It would help me handle a tough situation. As I sat with a friend I realized, as she offered me a drink, that alcohol wasn’t all I had made it to be. It didn’t do anything for me anymore.  I believe, it was the beginning of the answer to my prayer.

Transformation comes through a changed mind. As we begin to see who we really are in Christ. There are many times even now when I see addictions try to creep up on me. When I recognize those patterns or behaviours I can put them in their place… under my feet!

I had a dream that revealed an addict to me last night. I sat in my hallway today asking God what I could do now that I knew. How could I help this person..I was trying to remember what changed me. Then out loud I said, ” Honestly, only you can change an addict..” My eyes filled with tears as I began to recall how it felt to be that way.

It’s humbling to know that some things are just out of your control. They are in God’s hands to work out. Now I know what to pray for. It changed my perspective about the relationship with this person. I began to feel compassion for this person because after all, I was an addict too.

The dream also made me see how when I was going through tough situations how some times I would slip into old patterns but my Spirit man would fight to reach for God. How it seemed as though maybe this happened to make me see that transformation takes time. It takes prayer it takes adversity to see if you are really set free from the bondage of addiction. I know now I don’t need any of these things. I only need God. And I’m believing that for my friend as well. That this person will began to see fully who God has created them to be.

free·dom

1:the quality or state of being free: as

a   :the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

b   : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence

 (from Merriam-Webster.com)

 

 

My name is Celia De Leon and I am 41 years old. I have an Associates of Applied Science Degree in Music and Video Business. I gave my life to the Lord the early part of 1997 and have been serving him ever since. I completed my Ministry course at the Potter's House of Dallas in June of 2011 and have since moved on to serve at Citichurch of Dallas on the Praise and Worship team.
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2 Comments

  • Thanks for your honesty. I just visited an evening church service yesterday where the pastor talked abotu us being set free because we’re his children; and he made specific reference to Zechariah 2-3, where Satan wanted to accuse Joseph. Satan didn’t even get a chance to open his mouth because the Lord rebuked him before he could say anything. The Pastor said that when the enemy picks on one of us, he’s essentially started a quarrel w/God that he can’t finish, because we are the apple of God’s eye.

    • I like that Rhonda, I went and read that.. Honestly, I do believe that! I do believe that the enemy does just that-start something that God will end! I truly believe in the power of God and that no matter what it looks like that God just has a way of moving powerfully in our lives…

      He did it with me, things I wasn’t able to change, he did. He protected me when I could have gotten myself in a lot of trouble. He is awesome and HE IS FULLY ABLE TO COMPLETE WHAT HE HAS STARTED IN US!

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